Sunday, January 15, 2012

Money and more...





01:12 AM:

( Dark room with dim white light coming from a broken glass window)

Scattered clothes, metallic plates falling, old newspaper rustling, and sound of rain drops beating on road outside. Lights are off and the air is chilly.

Wind whistled through the broken window pane now and then, I was breathing heavily, and the sweat beads on my forehead were falling as I shook with fear.

I was a strong man, Never before in my life I was scared this much, i mean i had nightmares occasionally when i was a kid, but this time, Oh no.. This is different...
After all who won’t be, when three cold blooded monsters after putting a knife across your friend's gut are searching for you…

Addiction comes in all of those exciting flavors, Alcohol, Drugs and even love. But for me it was different.


I was addicted to money.

Greed is a sweet talking bitch. And money is like opium. All it takes is that first hit.

I searched for it everywhere. Every damn corner I could. My hands are shivering, wet, from the sweat or blood, I didn’t know. All I care right now is my goddamn mobile.

My throat was chocking, I needed water. I tried to loosen my tie; my hands smelled of fresh blood, I took a deep breath, the air felt chilled, moist and filled with panic.  

I was still wearing my formal dress as it was Monday.  What started as another perfect day at office turned out to be the worst one.  They killed Mathew and I know I am going to be the next.  He was my associate, actually more than a partner, he was a good friend.  Yes a good friend and that’s what I used for my benefit, he was never interested in it. Actually no one is. When the job is to lie and steal money from innocents.

But I was.

 Money was my motivation and greed fueled me.  

And did I mention, I was not that emotional type also, rigid as rock, but look I have become weak tonight, and yes, tears are rolling down my cheek. The world is feeling so empty around. I feel alone for the first time. This darkness is unbearable. My heart is thumping and the cold air is bitting me. I frantically moved my arms around my messed up bedroom in vain. At last, though being an atheist, I sat down, buried my head in my knees and asked God for a second chance.  


"We both are trying to find something isn’t it", that familiar dark, hoarse voice pierced through my ears. It was Jason indeed.

I shivered from head to toe.  I tried to raise my head to look up, but my body refused.  I expected the same knife through my neck or a shell popped in my skull anytime. I was frozen. My words were choked.  
Two seconds passed. The longest two seconds of my life. And just when I was about to look up, I felt a cold metal on my neck. Yes I guessed it right. It indeed was a gun.

The gun was cold, and so was Mr Jason. Hell, I should have known whom I was dealing with. Mathew had warned, but I dint listen. The more the money involved the more stupid you become.

I don’t know why, but I missed my mother at that time. I don’t know why but I felt my dad will come and rescue me. I wanted to apologize to my sweetheart, the one whom I always hurt and yet take her for granted. I wished I had found my phone and called her for the last time.
Here Mr. Smartass, Isn’t this what you were looking for? “ He held my mobile in one hand and the gun in another.

The phone beeped and it showed “ 22 missed calls” . As always, i guess she must have  tried to call me, always she does, but I never bothered to care, The same way as I refused to listen to her, when she tried to bring me from wrong to right. 
  For the first time in my life I realized that others can be right too.  But it was too late. I had lost my best friend, everything and was about to lose my life too.

Like I said, I was addicted to money, it destroyed me.  

“ I run this place kid, since you first shitted in your pants for the first time. You think you can steal from Jason ? F*cking egoistic bastard”

I always considered Guilt to be our biggest enemy. When guilt prevails it overpowers every other feeling. I felt guilty for the first time. Mathew was dead because of me. He never wanted this bluff business in the first place. He trusted me and my intelligence but I pushed it a little too far.
 I wanted to apologize to everyone.
To my parents for not growing into a man they expected me to become, 
to my girlfriend for taking her for granted,
 and to Mathew, for leaving him bleeding in the middle of road like a coward.

Jason shouted “this one is for messing with me, you prick “ and pointed the gun at my head. He already had found his money.  And the last thing he needed on earth was me being alive.
Like I said, Guilt overpowers all other feelings, it did the same to my fear also. I yelled at him “ With pleasure ” and laughed at him like a lunatic with tears in my eyes. I closed my eyes and everything stood still.
I heard Jason screaming at me and a loud thud.

 I woke up from my dream. It was my phone’s alarm ringtone with that hard rock ringtone ;) 
It indeed is monday morning and a long week ahead. Phew.... But feels good to be alive :)

P.S.

B.T.W its all imaginary i never get these kind of dreams. :-P

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